The Economic Downturn Hits the Rich Hard
Tough Times for Them

It's breaking my heart, I tell ya. The folks in both Palm Beach, FL and The Hamptons, NY are being hit hard by the financial downturn. One former Lehman Bros. VP is forced to put his second mansion in tony Bridgehampton up for sale. And it's SUCH a BAD time to do that don't ya know.

Asking price: $32.5 million.

Luxury downturn hits U.S. beaver trappers

"Nobody's buying right now," he said.

Renfro, 46, is the first cog in the many-layered, $15 billion global fur industry, one that is caught in the steel jaws of the global economic downturn.

Thirty years ago, when he started trapping, a beaver pelt would fetch $50. Last year, prices fell to about $12 a pelt."

http://www.reuters.com/article/inDepthNews/idUSTRE4BG04C20081217

*REAL people wear FAKE fur, always*

McCain and Gramm

We're whiners & the economy's sound

Robert Reich's Vetting vs Sarah Palin's

Robert Reich's Vetting vs Sarah Palin's

She wasn't vetted at all

Vetting

Having been through the process of “vetting” prospective cabinet members, I can tell you it’s time-consuming, detailed, and thorough. I’d like to think the vetting of a vice presidential nominee would be more so – especially one whose odds of becoming president, should she be elected, are somewhat higher than that of the normal vice president.

Sixteen years ago, Bill Clinton’s “vetting” team asked me and other prospective cabinet members for (1) our tax returns, going back at least five years, (2) our bank records, (3) a detailed listing of our assets, (4) the names and places of everywhere we had lived, and the names and phone numbers of neighbors whom they could call about us, (5) a description of every job we had ever had, every client we had ever served, and the names of employers and clients with whom they could check, (6) the names of our family members, their ages, their occupations (if any), (7) a description of any civil or criminal investigations or prosecutions in which we had been involved (8) and – perhaps most importantly – “anything we should ask you about, the answer to which might cause you or the administration any embarrassment.”

It didn’t stop there. Investigators checked our answers, interviewed our friends and neighbors and former employers, asked for more records if uncertain. Agents from the Federal Bureau of Investigation did their own background checks. Staff members of the relevant congressional committees, representing both parties, looked over the files and added questions of their own.

It didn’t even stop there. I recall two large, three-ring black binders containing passages from books and articles I had written that might prove troubling to some of the Senators. My vetting team suggested I be prepared to answer questions about them.

The process took well over a month, not including the Senate confirmation hearing. I don’t recall doing anything during that interval except responding to questions from the vetting team, the FBI, and oversight committee staffers, both Republican and Democrat.

Do you believe Sarah Palin was put through anything remotely like this before John McCain decided she would be his vice presidential candidate, and possible President of the United States?

http://robertreich.blogspot.com/

You Should Vote Republican if You Believe the Following:

By Bob Kendall
09/01/2008 06:55:52 PM EST

1. We should all be proud of going to war in Iraq on the basis of lies and distortion.

2. We should not worry a second about the skyrocketing national debt, which is greater than all the national debts combined since the U.S. was founded 232 years ago.

3. The best reason for having children in the U.S.A. now is because they can be saddled with paying off the bill (our national debt) that Republican hero George Bush has gifted us with.

4. You should demand that Bush speak at your convention so he can glibly explain how he achieved this monumental debt.
   

5. If you enjoy watching wars on TV -- pleased consider that Iran may be next on the busy Republican war agenda.

6. If you want to avoid socialism vote Republican. Bush tried valiantly to privatize Social Security to give Wall Street a break. Maybe McCain will be lucky as Wall Street investors lead the way.

7. If you would like to help China, India, the Philippines or even Bangladesh we could go right on transferring our jobs overseas. This could advance stock market revenue because labor costs are cheaper overseas, without all that environmental and safety silliness.

These are the seven lucky reasons to be a family values Republican voter this time around. We must also add that you'll get a woman vice-president thrown in, a really tough babe, a hunter who appreciates a good family moose meal, especially one she killed and cooked!

http://www.politicalcortex.com/story/2008/9/1/185552/4709

An Open Letter to God, from Michael Moore*

Sunday, August 31st, 2008

Dear God,

The other night, the Rev. James Dobson's ministry asked all believers to pray for a storm on Thursday night so that the Obama acceptance speech outdoors in Denver would have to be cancelled.

I see that You have answered Rev. Dobson's prayers -- except the storm You have sent to earth is not over Denver, but on its way to New Orleans! In fact, You have scheduled it to hit Louisiana at exactly the moment that George W. Bush is to deliver his speech at the Republican National Convention.

Now, heavenly Father, we all know You have a great sense of humor and impeccable timing. To send a hurricane on the third anniversary of the Katrina disaster AND right at the beginning of the Republican Convention was, at first blush, a stroke of divine irony. I don't blame You, I know You're angry that the Republicans tried to blame YOU for Katrina by calling it an "Act of God" -- when the truth was that the hurricane itself caused few casualties in New Orleans. Over a thousand people died because of the mistakes and neglect caused by humans, not You.

Some of us tried to help after Katrina hit, while Bush ate cake with McCain and twiddled his thumbs. I closed my office in New York and sent my entire staff down to New Orleans to help. I asked people on my website to contribute to the relief effort I organized -- and I ended up sending over two million dollars in donations, food, water, and supplies (collected from thousands of fans) to New Orleans while Bush's FEMA ice trucks were still driving around Maine three weeks later.

But this past Thursday night, the Washington Post reported that the Republicans had begun making plans to possibly postpone the convention. The AP had reported that there were no shelters set up in New Orleans for this storm, and that the levee repairs have not been adequate. In other words, as the great Ronald Reagan would say, "There you go again!"

So the last thing John McCain and the Republicans needed was to have a split-screen on TVs across America: one side with Bush and McCain partying in St. Paul, and on the other side of the screen, live footage of their Republican administration screwing up once again while New Orleans drowns.

So, yes, You have scared the Jesus, Mary and Joseph out of them, and more than a few million of your followers tip their hats to You.

But now it appears that You haven't been having just a little fun with Bush & Co. It appears that Hurricane Gustav is truly heading to New Orleans and the Gulf coast. We hear You, O Lord, loud and clear, just as we did when Rev. Falwell said You made 9/11 happen because of all those gays and abortions. We beseech You, O Merciful One, not to punish us again as Pat Robertson said You did by giving us Katrina because of America's "wholesale slaughter of unborn children." His sentiments were echoed by other Republicans in 2005.

So this is my plea to you: Don't do this to Louisiana again. The Republicans got your message. They are scrambling and doing the best they can to get planes, trains and buses to New Orleans so that everyone can get out. They haven't sent the entire Louisiana National Guard to Iraq this time -- they are already patrolling the city streets. And, in a nod to I don't know what, Bush's head of FEMA has named a man to help manage the federal government's response. His name is W. Michael Moore. I kid you not, heavenly Father. They have sent a man with both my name AND W's to help save the Gulf Coast.

So please God, let the storm die out at sea. It's done enough damage already. If you do this one favor for me, I promise not to invoke your name again. I'll leave that to the followers of Rev. Dobson and to those gathering this week in St. Paul.

Your faithful servant and former seminarian,

Michael Moore

P.S. To all of God's fellow children who are reading this, the city New Orleans has not yet recovered from Katrina. Please click here for a list of things you can do to help our brothers and sisters on the Gulf Coast. And, if you do live along the Gulf Coast, please take all necessary safety precautions immediately.

* E-mail received 8/31/08

Food safety: Priority for Next President
Seems like the least he can do for his people is keep them alive

Texas Department of State Health Services
NEWS RELEASE
July 17, 2008

Non-Outbreak Salmonella Detection Prompts Recall

A South Texas produce importer/distributor is voluntarily recalling avocados, serrano peppers and jalapeno peppers after laboratory tests by the Texas Department of State Health Services (DSHS) laboratory and the North Carolina Department of Health and Human Services lab found salmonella in samples of those products from the company.

But DSHS officials said the salmonella strain found in serranos and jalapenos tested by DSHS is not the strain responsible for the nationwide outbreak of salmonellosis over the past two months.

The outbreak strain is salmonella, group B, type saintpaul. The salmonella detected in the peppers DSHS tested is salmonella, group C1. The North Carolina lab found salmonella in avocados and jalapenos, but results of tests to identify the group and type are pending.

DSHS and the U.S. Food and Drug Administration are overseeing the recall being done by Grande Produce, Hidalgo.

The detections were made in ongoing efforts to find the source of the salmonella causing the national outbreak. The DSHS lab has tested some 70 food products for salmonella in recent weeks. The only two found to be contaminated were the serranos and jalapenos from Grande.

DSHS and FDA are working to identify where the avocados, serranos and jalapenos from Grande were shipped and where and how the recalled produce was contaminated. The company’s clients are being notified to pull the products.

Consumers and food services personnel are reminded to wash any fresh fruits and vegetables thoroughly before eating or serving.

Officials said the findings and subsequent recall are limited to those specific products from Grande Produce. At this point, they do not apply to all avocados, serranos and jalapenos on the market, to products from any other distributor or to Texas-grown produce in general.

-30-

"McCain Proposes a $300 Million Prize for a Next-Generation Car Battery"

The stupidest idea to date!
This falls into hair brained schemes!

FRESNO, Calif. — In the 18th century the British offered a £20,000 prize to anyone who figured out how to calculate longitude. More recently, Netflix offered a million dollars for improving movie recommendations on its Web site. Now Senator John McCain is suggesting a new national prize: He said here Monday that if elected president he would offer $300 million to anyone who could build a better car battery.

The high cost of gasoline — a gallon of regular was selling for $4.65 at a gas station near California State University, Fresno, where Mr. McCain spoke — has made energy policy a big issue in this year’s presidential campaign, and barely a day has passed recently without one of the candidates weighing in with new energy policies, proposals and attacks on opponents.

Mr. McCain, of Arizona, alienated some environmentalists last week during a speech in Houston when he dropped his opposition to allowing offshore drilling for oil; this week, in a swing through California, he spoke about trying to wean the nation from its dependence on oil. He called for improving the enforcement of fuel economy standards, building more cars that could run on alternative fuels, dropping the tariff on imports of sugar-based ethanol from Brazil and offering big tax credits for nonpolluting cars.

“I further propose we inspire the ingenuity and resolve of the American people,” Mr. McCain said, “by offering a $300 million prize for the development of a battery package that has the size, capacity, cost and power to leapfrog the commercially available plug-in hybrids or electric cars.”

He said the winner should deliver power at 30 percent of current costs. “That’s one dollar, one dollar, for every man, woman and child in the U.S. — a small price to pay for helping to break the back of our oil dependency,” he said.

The Obama campaign countered by noting that Mr. McCain had voted against improving fuel efficiency standards in the Senate. Jason Furman, the Obama campaign’s economic policy director, said in a conference call that Mr. McCain had been focused on “meaningful relief for oil companies that are struggling with record profits.”

In his speech in Fresno, Mr. McCain called for automakers to act more quickly to build so-called flex-fuel vehicles than can run on alternative fuel. He approvingly cited the example of Brazil, which he said had moved to building 70 percent of all new vehicles that way in just three years, and he issued a not-so-veiled threat to automakers.

“Whether it takes a meeting with automakers during my first month in office, or my signature on an act of Congress,” he said, “we will meet the goal of a swift conversion of American vehicles away from oil.”

And Mr. McCain emphasized one of his differences with Mr. Obama, without mentioning him by name, by restating his opposition to subsidies for corn-based ethanol, which Mr. Obama supports.

“As taxpayers, we foot the bill for the enormous subsidies paid to corn producers,” he said. “And as consumers, we pay extra at the pump because of government barriers to cheaper products from abroad.”

Mr. McCain, who spoke against corn-based ethanol when he ran for president in 2000, said this time around that he became a supporter of it when oil grew too expensive, but he has said he still opposes subsidies for ethanol.

While the McCain and Obama campaigns were sparring over energy, Mr. Obama was in Albuquerque, where he focused on the economy and working women, a critical constituency. He journeyed deep into the prosaic land of gut-level economics at the Flying Star Café Commissary, where talk of globalization and vertical economies yields to “how can I afford to make it through this week and the one after that?”

Speaking to a group of women, Mr. Obama, of Illinois, was offered a glimpse into one of the realities of the American economy: that wages for the working-class have lagged far behind those of upper-income Americans. Some of the women at the commissary, like Carrie Hummel, 28, told of holding down multiple jobs and still barely being able to find the money to pay for gas, much less for her health insurance. “You know, this life is pretty hard,” she said.

Ms. Hummel was followed by a woman who asked Mr. Obama if he would consider waiving taxes on tips, and another who asked about the cost of college tuition, which has risen at a rate far outstripping inflation.

Mr. Obama offered a variety of proposals, including requiring employers t0 provide seven paid sick days for all employees (he has not specified the size of the employer) and extending the Family and Medical Leave Act to cover any company with 25 or more employees (the act now applies to those with 50 or more employees).

He also criticized Mr. McCain over his opposition to legislative action to help bring wages of women up to those of men. The McCain campaign fired back, saying the legislation to do so would have been a boon to trial lawyers, who have supported Mr. Obama’s campaign.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/24/us/politics/24campaign.html

Vonage Cancellation Numbers
So very hard to find!

It's unfortunate that Vonage makes it so hard and frustrating to cancel your account or port your number to another provider. This is documented throughout the internets. Just Google Vonage and customer care, etc. There are other reports that they "Can't do that".

Because a lot of folks often change carriers, Vonage has managed to delete themselves now from my ever returning to them due to the hassle. The original issue is that my ISP is not reliable. When the computer's down so is Vonage and one's left with neither computer nor "home" phone. Having a cell phone as a back up is very helpful.

Customer Care = 1- 866-243-4357 (1-VONAGE-HELP)
M - F 9 a.m. - 8 p.m. Eastern time

Cancellation Department = X - 55862 He didn't know the main number to call that goes with this extension.

Other numbers:
1 888 510-1820
Vonage UK 0808 168 1000

You talk with multiple people who keep repeating themselves. You need to have the following information available. Some of it's found in your online account

Phone number

Security number

Pin

Year service started

That you need to have changed to another provider, FIRST, which I'd already done. That stumped him.

You need to understand foreign accents.

The conversation ended with me laughing as I know what I have to do. I need to call during business hours and stop at the bank and close the account from which this is being debited.

Wallpaper
Peonies

The FISA "Compromise" Big Brother, Again
Here are the Dems who voted for this sorry thing
Read 'em and weep

Aye AL-5 Cramer, Robert [D]
Aye AL-7 Davis, Artur [D]
Aye AR-1 Berry, Robert [D]
Aye AR-2 Snyder, Victor [D]
Aye AR-4 Ross, Mike [D]
Aye AZ-5 Mitchell, Harry [D]
Aye AZ-8 Giffords, Gabrielle [D]
Aye CA-10 Tauscher, Ellen [D]
Aye CA-11 McNerney, Jerry [D]
Aye CA-18 Cardoza, Dennis [D]
Aye CA-20 Costa, Jim [D]
Aye CA-27 Sherman, Brad [D]
Aye CA-28 Berman, Howard [D]
Aye CA-29 Schiff, Adam [D]
Aye CA-36 Harman, Jane [D]
Aye CA-37 Richardson, Laura [D]
Aye CA-43 Baca, Joe [D]
Aye CA-8 Pelosi, Nancy [D]
Aye CO-2 Udall, Mark [D]
Aye CO-3 Salazar, John [D]
Aye CO-7 Perlmutter, Ed [D]
Aye FL-11 Castor, Kathy [D]
Aye FL-16 Mahoney, Tim [D]
Aye FL-2 Boyd, F. [D]
Aye FL-22 Klein, Ron [D]
Aye FL-23 Hastings, Alcee [D]
Aye FL-3 Brown, Corrine [D]
Aye GA-12 Barrow, John [D]
Aye GA-13 Scott, David [D]
Aye GA-2 Bishop, Sanford [D]
Aye GA-8 Marshall, James [D]
Aye IA-3 Boswell, Leonard [D]
Aye IL-3 Lipinski, Daniel [D]
Aye IL-4 Gutierrez, Luis [D]
Aye IL-5 Emanuel, Rahm [D]
Aye IL-8 Bean, Melissa [D]
Aye IN-2 Donnelly, Joe [D]
Aye IN-8 Ellsworth, Brad [D]
Aye KS-2 Boyda, Nancy [D]
Aye KS-3 Moore, Dennis [D]
Aye KY-3 Yarmuth, John [D]
Aye KY-6 Chandler, Ben [D]
Aye LA-3 Melancon, Charles [D]
Aye LA-6 Cazayoux, Donald [D]
Aye MD-2 Ruppersberger, C.A. [D]
Aye MD-5 Hoyer, Steny [D]
Aye MI-1 Stupak, Bart [D]
Aye MI-5 Kildee, Dale [D]
Aye MN-7 Peterson, Collin [D]
Aye MO-4 Skelton, Ike [D]
Aye MO-5 Cleaver, Emanuel [D]
Aye MS-1 Childers, Travis [D]
Aye MS-2 Thompson, Bennie [D]
Aye MS-4 Taylor, Gene [D]
Aye NC-1 Butterfield, George [D]
Aye NC-11 Shuler, Heath [D]
Aye NC-2 Etheridge, Bob [D]
Aye NC-7 McIntyre, Mike [D]
Aye ND-0 Pomeroy, Earl [D]
Aye NJ-13 Sires, Albio [D]
Aye NV-1 Berkley, Shelley [D]
Aye NY-1 Bishop, Timothy [D]
Aye NY-17 Engel, Eliot [D]
Aye NY-18 Lowey, Nita [D]
Aye NY-20 Gillibrand, Kirsten [D]
Aye NY-24 Arcuri, Michael [D]
Aye NY-27 Higgins, Brian [D]
Aye NY-4 McCarthy, Carolyn [D]
Aye NY-5 Ackerman, Gary [D]
Aye NY-6 Meeks, Gregory [D]
Aye NY-7 Crowley, Joseph [D]
Aye OH-18 Space, Zackary [D]
Aye OH-6 Wilson, Charles [D]
Aye OK-2 Boren, Dan [D]
Aye PA-10 Carney, Christopher [D]
Aye PA-11 Kanjorski, Paul [D]
Aye PA-12 Murtha, John [D]
Aye PA-17 Holden, Tim [D]
Aye PA-4 Altmire, Jason [D]
Aye PA-7 Sestak, Joe [D]
Aye PA-8 Murphy, Patrick [D]
Aye RI-2 Langevin, James [D]
Aye SC-5 Spratt, John [D]
Aye SC-6 Clyburn, James [D]
Aye SD-0 Herseth Sandlin, Stephanie [D]
Aye TN-4 Davis, Lincoln [D]
Aye TN-5 Cooper, Jim [D]
Aye TN-6 Gordon, Barton [D]
Aye TN-8 Tanner, John [D]
Aye TX-15 Hinojosa, Rubén [D]
Aye TX-16 Reyes, Silvestre [D]
Aye TX-17 Edwards, Thomas [D]
Aye TX-22 Lampson, Nicholas [D]
Aye TX-23 Rodriguez, Ciro [D]
Aye TX-27 Ortiz, Solomon [D]
Aye TX-28 Cuellar, Henry [D]
Aye TX-29 Green, Raymond [D]
Aye TX-9 Green, Al [D]
Aye UT-2 Matheson, Jim [D]
Aye VA-9 Boucher, Frederick [D]
Aye WA-3 Baird, Brian [D]
Aye WA-6 Dicks, Norman [D]
Aye WA-9 Smith, Adam [D]
Aye WI-3 Kind, Ronald [D]
Aye WV-3 Rahall, Nick [D]

Finally, the real reason for the war in Iraq

"Big Oil Firms Ready to Sign Agreements With Iraq

Two-Year, No-Bid Contracts Aimed at Boosting Production"

By Ernesto Londoño and Simone Baribeau

Washington Post Foreign Service
Friday, June 20, 2008; Page A12

BAGHDAD, June 19 -- Iraq is preparing to award contracts to several Western energy companies to help develop its vast oil resources, allowing them to consolidate their positions in a country that has seemed less threatening in recent months as security has improved.

The two-year, no-bid contracts will be awarded to companies that have been advising the Iraqi Oil Ministry in recent years, said Asim Jihad, a spokesman for the ministry. He said officials expect that U.S.-based Exxon Mobil and Chevron, Royal Dutch Shell, France's Total and British oil company BP will secure the biggest contracts.

"We have had discussions since last year" regarding deals that would formalize the advisory role some of them are already playing, Jihad said. "The discussions have now ended."

The contracts will be presented to Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki's cabinet for approval in coming days and could be announced by the end of the month, Jihad said. He added that more than 30 contracts will be signed but declined to describe their scope or provide other details.

He said the Iraqi government informed oil companies several months ago of its needs. Subsequent negotiations led to the contracts, which would allow the government to step up efforts to increase production while legislation setting guidelines for foreign investment in the oil sector remains deadlocked in parliament.

The contracts would expand relationships between the Iraqi government and the energy giants, which have eyed the country's oil fields with interest and apprehension since the U.S.-led invasion in 2003. Some companies have been working with the ministry under memorandums of understanding.

While the contracts would limit the companies' role to infrastructure refurbishment and technical support, the agreements would also position the firms for future deals in Iraq that could include exploration and drilling.

The impending signing of the contracts, which was reported in the New York Times on Thursday, comes as members of Iraq's parliament remain at loggerheads over legislation to regulate the country's oil reserves.

Iraq's largest oil fields are in the heavily Shiite south and predominantly Kurdish areas in the north. Parliament members and leaders have argued over whether oil revenue should be distributed evenly across the country or whether oil-rich provinces should be entitled to a larger share.

They also have squabbled over the role foreign companies should play in Iraq, particularly whether they should be given licenses to drill.

A higher-profile role for Western companies in Iraq's oil industry is likely to revive speculation that the Iraq war was motivated by a desire to tap into reserves that were controlled by foreigners until the 1960s, when the industry was nationalized. The belief is widespread in the Arab world.

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice on Thursday said the U.S. government played no role in securing the deals. She called the impending contracts a sign that security gains are attracting foreign investment in Iraq.

"It demonstrates that the private sector is beginning to get interested in Iraq, that it recognizes the tremendous potential for Iraq to become an even more major oil supplier," Rice told Fox News. "That's really a good sign, and it will be a good sign if Iraq can increase its oil production, because of course the supply and demand of oil is a major concern to all of us."

Iraq's oil reserves are among the largest in the world, but years of economic sanctions, war and political turmoil have taken a toll on the industry. During the first few months of this year, output reached 2 million barrels a day. Hussein al-Shahristani, Iraq's oil minister, told parliament this year that output could more than double within five years.

Officials at some of the oil companies that are expected to sign contracts issued muted statements.

A spokeswoman for Exxon Mobil, regarded as one of the most risk-adverse players in the industry, said the company would be interested in working in Iraq.

Toby Odone, a BP spokesman, said the company has been providing technical assistance to Iraq for years and is formalizing its role in the country.

Shell spokesman Adam Newton said that the company is negotiating "service agreements" with the Iraqi Oil Ministry but that the details are confidential.

Total spokesman Kevin Church confirmed that the company is discussing its future role in West Qurna, one of Iraq's largest oil fields in the south.

Large energy companies have in recent years lost ground in oil-rich countries such as Russia and Venezuela, as governments have tightened their control over the industry.

Manouchehr Takin, a senior analyst at the London-based Center for Global Energy Studies, said the names of the companies negotiating contracts is not surprising.

"They're the big international companies," he said. "They're qualified and experienced."

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/06/19/AR2008061903232.html

It wasn't Sadam nor democracy nor WMD's. It was oil all along. Reminds me of the film, "Mad Max".

There was a long time early on in this administration when we neither saw nor heard from Cheney. I suspected then that he was carefully mapping out Iraq for oil and cutting the slices just a little thicker for his buddies.

The Underlying Cause of the Gas Chaos
Keith Olbermann Speaks to It

It has to do with the ENRON Loophole and, of course, THIS administration, and the Farm Bill to rescind it. And then there's this: Deregulation of the futures market & mergers of refineries allowed by antitrust types.

KO did a Special comment about this tonight.

"McCain, gas prices & the Enron loophole"

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3036677/

We don't need to drill for oil. Congress needs to rescind this unregulated futures market on oil and the price will quickly drop as the futures floor won't be able to keep bidding the price sky high. I suspect that if this doesn't happen, there'll be a big oil balloon bust.

Obama’s New Web Site Strikes Back at ‘Dishonest Smears’

Hooray!

Fight the Smears
http://my.barackobama.com/page/content/fightthesmearshome/

Kucinich's 35 articles of impeachment
Bush should be impeached

"Resolved, that President George W. Bush be impeached for high crimes and misdemeanors, and that the following articles of impeachment be exhibited to the United States Senate:

Articles of impeachment exhibited by the House of Representatives of the United States of America in the name of itself and of the people of the United States of America, in maintenance and support of its impeachment against President George W. Bush for high crimes and misdemeanors.

In his conduct while President of the United States, George W. Bush, in violation of his constitutional oath to faithfully execute the office of President of the United States and, to the best of his ability, preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution of the United States, and in violation of his constitutional duty to take care that the laws be faithfully executed, has committed the following abuses of power.

Article I
Creating a Secret Propaganda Campaign to Manufacture a False Case for War Against Iraq

Article II
Falsely, Systematically, and with Criminal Intent Conflating the Attacks of September 11, 2001, With Misrepresentation of Iraq as a Security Threat as Part of Fraudulent Justification for a War of Aggression

Article III
Misleading the American People and Members of Congress to Believe Iraq Possessed Weapons of Mass Destruction, to Manufacture a False Case for War

Article IV
Misleading the American People and Members of Congress to Believe Iraq Posed an Imminent Threat to the United States

Article V
Illegally Misspending Funds to Secretly Begin a War of Aggression

Article VI
Invading Iraq in Violation of the Requirements of HJRes114

Article VII
Invading Iraq Absent a Declaration of War.

Article VIII
Invading Iraq, A Sovereign Nation, in Violation of the UN Charter

Article IX
Failing to Provide Troops With Body Armor and Vehicle Armor

Article X
Falsifying Accounts of US Troop Deaths and Injuries for Political Purposes

Article XI
Establishment of Permanent U.S. Military Bases in Iraq

Article XII
Initiating a War Against Iraq for Control of That Nation's Natural Resources

Article XIIII
Creating a Secret Task Force to Develop Energy and Military Policies With Respect to Iraq and Other Countries

Article XIV
Misprision of a Felony, Misuse and Exposure of Classified Information And Obstruction of Justice in the Matter of Valerie Plame Wilson, Clandestine Agent of the Central Intelligence Agency

Article XV
Providing Immunity from Prosecution for Criminal Contractors in Iraq

Article XVI
Reckless Misspending and Waste of U.S. Tax Dollars in Connection With Iraq and US Contractors

Article XVII
Illegal Detention: Detaining Indefinitely And Without Charge Persons Both U.S. Citizens and Foreign Captives

Article XVIII
Torture: Secretly Authorizing, and Encouraging the Use of Torture Against Captives in Afghanistan, Iraq, and Other Places, as a Matter of Official Policy

Article XIX
Rendition: Kidnapping People and Taking Them Against Their Will to "Black Sites" Located in Other Nations, Including Nations Known to Practice Torture

Article XX
Imprisoning Children

Article XXI
Misleading Congress and the American People About Threats from Iran, and Supporting Terrorist Organizations Within Iran, With the Goal of Overthrowing the Iranian Government

Article XXII
Creating Secret Laws

Article XXIII
Violation of the Posse Comitatus Act

Article XXIV
Spying on American Citizens, Without a Court-Ordered Warrant, in Violation of the Law and the Fourth Amendment

Article XXV
Directing Telecommunications Companies to Create an Illegal and Unconstitutional Database of the Private Telephone Numbers and Emails of American Citizens

Article XXVI
Announcing the Intent to Violate Laws with Signing Statements

Article XXVII
Failing to Comply with Congressional Subpoenas and Instructing Former Employees Not to Comply

Article XXVIII
Tampering with Free and Fair Elections, Corruption of the Administration of Justice

Article XXIX
Conspiracy to Violate the Voting Rights Act of 1965

Article XXX
Misleading Congress and the American People in an Attempt to Destroy Medicare

Article XXXI
Katrina: Failure to Plan for the Predicted Disaster of Hurricane Katrina, Failure to Respond to a Civil Emergency

Article XXXII
Misleading Congress and the American People, Systematically Undermining Efforts to Address Global Climate Change

Article XXXIII
Repeatedly Ignored and Failed to Respond to High Level Intelligence Warnings of Planned Terrorist Attacks in the US, Prior to 911.

Article XXXIV
Obstruction of the Investigation into the Attacks of September 11, 2001

Article XXXV
Endangering the Health of 911 First Responders"

http://chun.afterdowningstreet.org/amomentoftruth.pdf

Olbermann: McCain should know better

Context and decency elude the GOP presidential nominee

"You have attested to: a fairly easy success; an overwhelming victory in a very short period of time; in which we would be welcomed as liberators; which you assured us would not require our troops stay for decades but merely for years; from which we could bring them all home, since you noted many Iraqis resent American military presence; in which all those troops coming home will also stay there, not being injured, for a hundred years; but most will be back by 2013; and the timing of their return, is not that important.

That, Sen. McCain, is context.

And that, Sen. McCain, is madness.



To die, for your misdirection, for Mr. Bush’s lies, for whoever makes the money off building 58 permanent American bases and all the weapons and all the bullets and all the wiring so costly and so slip-shod that it electrocutes our comrades as they step, not to fight freedom’s enemies, but into the shower at the base.

That, Senator, that is context.

It is an easy thing to dismiss Sen. McCain as a sad and befuddled figure, already challenging for some kind of campaign record for malaprops.



"I don’t know if I would want him (Cheney) as Vice President. He and I have the same strengths. But to serve in other capacities? Hell, yeah."



The context of the kaleidoscope of confused rhetoric, and endless non sequitur, and mutually exclusive conclusions—and what they add up to: a veritable tragedy, a microcosm of the American tragedy that is Iraq, a tragedy of a man who himself will never understand… "the context."'

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/25126582/



These particular comments are spot on. McBush, besides being too old for the job, has presented a bumbling and befuddling list of "endless non sequiturs".

KO continues to speak for me!

A Vote for McCain
is Another 4 More Years of Bush
McBush

"We the willing,
led by the unknowing, are
doing the impossible
for the ungrateful.
We've done so much for so long
with so little,
we're now qualified
to do anything with nothing"
... Anonymous

From C-Bob's Blog
http://colorado-bob.blogspot.com/search?q=

Vote for Obama
He's the ONLY choice!

War, Oil and Unemployment
The truth from "Good Will Hunting", 1997

Will: What did I think?

(A beat. Will has obviously been stewing on this.)

Will: Say I'm working at N.S.A. Somebody puts a code on my desk, something nobody else can break. Maybe I take a shot at it and maybe I break it. And I'm real happy with myself, 'cause I did my job well. But maybe that code was the location of some rebel army in North Africa or the Middle East. Once they have that location, they bomb the village where the rebels were hiding and fifteen hundred people I never had a no problem with get killed. (rapid fire) Now the politicians are sayin', "Oh, send in the marines to secure the area" 'cause they don't give a shit. It won't be their kid over there, gettin' shot. Just like it wasn't them when their number got called, 'cause they were pullin' a tour in the National Guard. It'll be some kid from Southie takin' shrapnel in the ass. And he comes back to find that the plant he used to work at got exported to the country he just got back from. And the guy who put the shrapnel in his ass got his old job, 'cause he'll work for fifteen cents a day and no bathroom breaks. Meanwhile my buddie from Southie realizes the only reason he was over there in the first place was so we could install a government that would sell us oil at a good price. And of course the oil companies used the skirmish over there to scare up oil prices. A cute, little ancillary benefit for them, but it ain't helping my buddy at two-fifty a gallon. And naturally they're takin' their sweet time bringin' the oil back, and maybe even took the liberty of hiring an alcoholic skipper who likes to drink seven and sevens and play slalom with the icebergs, and it ain't too long 'til he hits one, spills the oil and kills all the sea life in the North Atlantic. So now my buddy's out of work and he can't afford to drive, so he's got to walk to the job interviews, which sucks 'cause the shrapnel in his ass is givin' him chronic hemorrhoids. And meanwhile he's starvin' 'cause every time he tries to get a bite to eat the only blue plate special they're servin' is North Atlantic scrod with Quaker State. (a beat) So what'd I think? I'm holdin' out for somethin' better. I figure I'll eliminate the middle man. Why not just shoot my buddy, take his job, give it to his sworn enemy, hike up gas prices, bomb a village, club a baby seal, hit the hash pipe and join the National Guard? Christ, I could be elected president.

~From a script of "Good Will Hunting" 1997
Written by Matt Damon & Ben Affleck

Fighting Global Inflation Dynamics

The sky is falling!

"At a press conference in Jerusalem of leading international bankers on Monday, European Central Bank head Jean-Claude Trichet said that financial markets are experiencing an ongoing correction but that the G7 group are concerned over the excessive dollar volatility. He refused however to comment on soaring oil and commodity prices and European inflation but declared there was cause for concern.05/26/08"

Video:
http://www.infolive.tv/en/infolive.tv-23020-israelnews-fighting-global-inflation-dynamics

House easily overrode President Bush's veto
At last!

In swift rebuff, House overrides Bush veto of farm bill

Republicans broke with White House on the measure

By Jonathan Weisman and Dan Morgan Washington Post / May 22, 2008

WASHINGTON - The House easily overrode President Bush's veto of a $307 billion farm bill last night, handing him the most significant legislative rebuff of his presidency after Republicans broke with the White House en masse to side with farm groups, antihunger advocates, and the biofuels industry.

With a Senate override vote all but guaranteed, Congress prepared to deliver only the second veto override of Bush's presidency and the first on a major piece of legislation.

http://www.boston.com/news/nation/washington/articles/2008/05/22/in_swift_rebuff_house_overrides_bush_veto_of_farm_bill/

For the Women

Women over 50 don't have babies because they would put them down and forget where they left them.

A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills... she has 14 kids but doesn't really care. &nb sp;

One of life's mysteries is how a 2-pound box of chocolates can make a woman gain 5 lbs.

My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.

The best way to forget your troubles is to wear tight shoes .

The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you are doing, someone else does.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.

Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.

Sometimes I think I understand everything, and then I regain consciousness.

I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting fire to my knicker's.

Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks 2 sizes!

Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like... 'You know sometimes I forget to eat!' ......Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name and my keys, but I have never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat!

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him.

I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That's my idea of a perfect day!

Sex and the Man
vs
Sex and the Woman

Sex: What a Disgrace
Shame on you Randi Rhodes

Misogyny I Won't Miss

By Marie Cocco

Thursday, May 15, 2008; A15

As the Democratic nomination contest slouches toward a close, it's time to take stock of what I will not miss.

I will not miss seeing advertisements for T-shirts that bear the slogan "Bros before Hos." The shirts depict Barack Obama (the Bro) and Hillary Clinton (the Ho) and are widely sold on the Internet.

I will not miss walking past airport concessions selling the Hillary Nutcracker, a device in which a pantsuit-clad Clinton doll opens her legs to reveal stainless-steel thighs that, well, bust nuts. I won't miss television and newspaper stories that make light of the novelty item.

I won't miss episodes like the one in which liberal radio personality Randi Rhodes called Clinton a "big [expletive] whore" and said the same about former vice presidential nominee Geraldine Ferraro. Rhodes was appearing at an event sponsored by a San Francisco radio station, before an audience of appreciative Obama supporters -- one of whom had promoted the evening on the presumptive Democratic nominee's official campaign Web site.

I won't miss Citizens United Not Timid (no acronym, please), an anti-Clinton group founded by Republican guru Roger Stone.

Political discourse will at last be free of jokes like this one, told last week by magician Penn Jillette on MSNBC: "Obama did great in February, and that's because that was Black History Month. And now Hillary's doing much better 'cause it's White Bitch Month, right?" Co-hosts Joe Scarborough and Mika Brzezinski rebuked Jillette.

I won't miss political commentators (including National Public Radio political editor Ken Rudin and Andrew Sullivan, the columnist and blogger) who compare Clinton to the Glenn Close character in the movie "Fatal Attraction." In the iconic 1987 film, Close played an independent New York woman who has an affair with a married man played by Michael Douglas. When the liaison ends, the jilted woman becomes a deranged, knife-wielding stalker who terrorizes the man's blissful suburban family. Message: Psychopathic home-wrecker, begone.

The airwaves will at last be free of comments that liken Clinton to a "she-devil" (Chris Matthews on MSNBC, who helpfully supplied an on-screen mock-up of Clinton sprouting horns). Or those who offer that she's "looking like everyone's first wife standing outside a probate court" (Mike Barnicle, also on MSNBC).

But perhaps it is not wives who are so very problematic. Maybe it's mothers. Because, after all, Clinton is more like "a scolding mother, talking down to a child" (Jack Cafferty on CNN).

When all other images fail, there is one other I will not miss. That is, the down-to-the-basics, simplest one: "White women are a problem, that's -- you know, we all live with that" (William Kristol of Fox News).

I won't miss reading another treatise by a man or woman, of the left or right, who says that sexism has had not even a teeny-weeny bit of influence on the course of the Democratic campaign. To hint that sexism might possibly have had a minimal role is to play that risible "gender card."

Most of all, I will not miss the silence.

I will not miss the deafening, depressing silence of Democratic National Committee Chairman Howard Dean or other leading Democrats, who to my knowledge (with the exception of Sen. Barbara Mikulski of Maryland) haven't publicly uttered a word of outrage at the unrelenting, sex-based hate that has been hurled at a former first lady and two-term senator from New York. Among those holding their tongues are hundreds of Democrats for whom Clinton has campaigned and raised millions of dollars. Don Imus endured more public ire from the political class when he insulted the Rutgers University women's basketball team.

Would the silence prevail if Obama's likeness were put on a tap-dancing doll that was sold at airports? Would the media figures who dole out precious face time to these politicians be such pals if they'd compared Obama with a character in a blaxploitation film? And how would crude references to Obama's sex organs play?

There are many reasons Clinton is losing the nomination contest, some having to do with her strategic mistakes, others with the groundswell for "change." But for all Clinton's political blemishes, the darker stain that has been exposed is the hatred of women that is accepted as a part of our culture.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/05/14/AR2008051403090_pf.html

It's Very Taxing
Taxes

Accounts Receivable Tax

Building Permit Tax

CDL License Tax

Cigarette Tax

Corporate Income Tax

Dog License Tax

Federal Income Tax

Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)

Fishing License Tax

Food License Tax

Fuel Permit Tax

Gasoline Tax

Hunting License Tax

Inheritance Tax

Inventory Tax

IRS Interest Charges (tax on top of tax)

IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)

Liquor Tax

Luxury Tax

Marriage License Tax

Medicare Tax

Property Tax

Real Estate Tax

Service charge taxes

Social Security Tax

Road Usage Tax (Truckers)

Sales Taxes

Recreational Vehicle Tax

School Tax

State Income Tax

State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)

Telephone Federal Excise Tax

Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax

Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Tax

Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax

Telephone Recurring and Non-recurring Charges Tax

Telephone State and Local Tax

Telephone Usage Charge Tax

Utility Tax

Vehicle License Registration Tax

Vehicle Sales Tax

Watercraft Registration Tax

Well Permit Tax

Workers Compensation Tax

What is a Billion?
A million here and a million there.

What is a billion ?

The next time you hear a politician use the

word 'billion' in a casual manner, think about

whether you want the 'politicians' spending

YOUR tax money.

A billion is a difficult number to comprehend,

but one advertising agency did a good job of

putting that figure into some perspective in

one of its releases.

A. A billion seconds ago it was 1969.

B. A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive.

C. A billion hours ago our ancestors were

living in the Stone Age.

D. A billion days ago no-one walked on the earth on two feet.

E. A billion dollars ago was only 8 hours and 20 minutes, at the rate our government is spending it.

While this thought is still fresh in our brain, let's take a look at just one example, New Orleans. It's amazing what you can learn with some simple division:

Louisiana Senator, Mary Landrieu (D), had asked the Congress for $250 BILLION to rebuild New Orleans. Interesting number; what does it mean?

A. Well, if you are one of 484,674 residents of

New Orleans (every man, woman and child), you

each get $516,528.

B. Or if you have one of the 188,251 homes in

New Orleans, your home gets $1,329,787.

C. Or if you are a family of four, your family

gets $2,066,012.

D. From another perspective that would mean that every man, woman, and child in the US would be writing a check for $830.17 and sending it to New Orleans.

Washington, D.C . HELLO!!! ... Are all your calculators broken??

An Exact Example of the Texas Democrat Caucuses
It was like this in Dallas too.

I voted soon and soon I will vote often in Texas
A Texas primary devised by Rube Goldberg

CQ TODAY ONLINE NEWS
March 3, 2008 – 4:01 p.m.

The Texas Primary Explained: Why Tuesday’s Dem Winner May Not Be Obvious

By Greg Giroux, CQ Staff

Some states choose presidential convention delegates through primary elections. Others use a system of caucuses. Texas is holding both on Tuesday.

Say again?

That’s right — Texas is a primary state and a caucus state. And there’s a Texas-sized explanation for this unusual setup.

Texas voters don’t register with a political party, so any registered voter can participate in either party’s primary election. Anyone who votes in Tuesday’s Democratic primary — in which New York Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton and Illinois Sen. Barack Obama are in a critical contest — can also participate in precinct conventions (caucuses) that will begin shortly after the polls close at 7 p.m. local time. (Nearly all of Texas is in the Central time zone; its western tip is in the Mountain time zone).

The purpose of these precinct conventions (caucuses), which will be held at the polling stations, is to select delegates for county conventions or state Senate district conventions on March 29 that in turn will elect delegates to the state Democratic convention on June 6 and 7. The state convention will determine the full delegate slate that will attend the Democratic national convention in Denver in late August. Texas Democrats are allotted 193 pledged delegates and 35 unpledged “superdelegates.”

But wait, it gets more complicated.

At the Democratic precinct conventions, attendees will sign in and reveal their presidential preferences (though they can be “uncommitted”) and elect delegates to the county conventions or state Senate district conventions. The more votes that a voting precinct gave in November 2006 to Chris Bell, the party’s losing candidate for governor, the more delegates it is entitled to send to the county or state Senate district convention. Of the 193 pledged Democratic delegates, 67 will be determined through this caucus process.

Obama has dominated Clinton in nearly all caucus contests that have been held to date, so he’s expected to win the lion’s share of the preference vote among Democrats who participate in the post-primary caucuses.

The other 126 pledged delegates will be determined by the primary vote and are distributed among the 31 state Senate districts. Each state Senate district is allocated between two and eight delegates, depending on the Democratic turnout in the past two general elections.

For example, Texas’ 14th senatorial district, which includes the state capital of Austin, is assigned eight delegates because there was a huge Democratic vote there in the past two elections. But the 31st senatorial district, which takes in the heavily Republican Panhandle, is assigned just two delegates because recent Democratic candidates didn’t get that many votes there.

Under this unconventional system, it’s possible that the winner of the overall statewide vote could capture fewer convention delegates than the runner-up. It may be hard to know exactly who won how many delegates Tuesday night when the results come in.

Texas Republicans also use this unusual primary-caucus system, though their process is less complicated. And the GOP race hasn’t received as much attention as the Democratic contest because Arizona Sen. John McCain has effectively sewn up the GOP nomination.

Any voter who cast a ballot in the Republican election can participate in his or her precinct convention on primary night. Unlike the Democrats, the Republicans won’t hold a presidential preference vote at the precinct conventions, which will elect delegates to the county or state Senate district conventions on March 29.

Congressional district caucuses on June 12-14 will elect 96 district-level delegates — three in each of Texas’ 32 congressional districts — to the Republican national convention in September. The state Republican convention also will be held June 12-14, and it will elect the 41 at-large delegates to the national convention. Three delegate spots are automatically awarded to the state party chairman and the state’s Republican national committeeman and Republican national committeewoman.

The winner of the statewide primary vote will take all of the at-large delegates if he wins a majority of the vote, and a majority-vote winner in a congressional district would also win its three delegates. In cases where a candidate does not win a majority of the vote statewide or in a congressional district, the delegates will be distributed proportionally among candidates who received at least 20 percent of the vote.

http://www.cqpolitics.com/wmspage.cfm?parm1=5&docID=news-000002680003

A Theory About the Elections
Perhaps a conspiracy Theory?

This is the theory posited: The men in suits behind the scenes of the Democratic Party are tipping the scales in favor of Obama because they want a man in the office and don't care what the color of his dick is. Obama can beat McCain because he has less baggage than Hillary. When Obama wins, the men in suits will run the show and control Barack, and he will become a puppet. The men in suits have never tried to control a woman as President and don't want to deal with that fearing that they won't be able to.

Also asked: What's happened to the white supremacists and all their variants? Nary a word has been heard from them.

I found these interesting to ponder.

Thanks to Joan.

Countdown's "Worst Person in the World" Music

Toccata and Fugue in D Minor J. S. Bach

Poll: Bullshit Is Most Important Issue For 2008 Voters

The Onion

Poll: Bullshit Is Most Important Issue For 2008 Voters

Video Trail Mix: Losing Pretty or Winning Ugly
Craig Crawford: Trail Mix

Video Trail Mix Webcam Edition: Losing Pretty At Dem Debate
Craig Crawford: Trail Mix

Texas Democratic Election a Primary/Caucus Hybrid, requires an extra trip to the polls

It's so Texas

"February 7th, 2008

I’d like to thank Bryan who attended an Obama meeting last night, and Rep. Eddie B. Johnson who sent an email, for providing me with some information that I did not know. I was planning to early vote for the Texas Primary, but it looks like in order for my vote to fully count, I’ll need to get back to the polls on election night.

Click here for Texas rules on Democratic delegates.

I’m not going to give the full rundown yet, but let me give you the cliff’s notes version as I understand them so far:

• Texas has a two step process that is open to all registered voters.

• When you cast your vote in the Texas primary, in essence it’s only 75% of a full vote.

• 126 of Texas’ 168 votes will be allocated to candidates based on the ballots cast.

• 15 minutes after the polls close (7:00 p.m.) those who voted must return to their precinct.

• This “precinct convention” is how Texas will decide how to divide the remaining 42 delegates.

• The rules were originally put in place to insure that the Democratic hierarchy would have more say.

That’s it in a nutshell. I had never heard of this before, but then again a Texas primary/caucus has never mattered since I’ve been voting. Thanks again to Bryan and Rep. Johnson."

http://dallassouthblog.com/2008/02/07/texas-democratic
-election-a-primarycaucus-hybrid-requires-and-extra-trip-to-the-polls/

Voting in the March 4th Texas Primary
I voted early so that I can vote often

I voted today in the Texas primary against my feeling that Super Delegates will rule the day and not moi. Here's how it goes: Stand in a moderate line at one of the designated early voting locations. Man asks if the front of your voting card is signed. But you don't need that here, a driver's license or maybe dog license will do. You get to the table and a woman asks you which party. You say, in front of everyone, which party and hand her the card. She hands it to a man on her left behind a big, white box who does something with it and hands it back to you with his right hand. Another woman writes your name down after asking you again, which party? She writes it on a long sheet. One long sheet for each party. In this case, the Republican sheet had about 5 names and the Democratic one probably 50, a long list. This woman hands you a credit card type card and you move to the computerized voting machine that's lined up out in the open next to others. Insert card, touch English, touch who you're voting for, touch Cast Vote and return the credit card to the woman. Off you go with no back up record of how you voted.

Clinton
Who has experience? My first special comment.

I've given it a lot of thought, mulled it over and pondered it. I think that the Clinton people should stress the Clinton years as they were good ones for us regular folks. The change we want is from the Republicans and their insufferable ways. The economy, jobs, foreign policy and general ambiance was good. The country was in good shape. It would have been in even better shape if a health care plan, that Bill & Hillary tried to get passed, had happened back then. Maybe we wouldn't be in such horrendous medical straights now.

Clinton has had much more experience on a federal, national and probably international level than Obama, even if she had nothing to do with policy & was just in and around it in the White House. Talking change isn't the same thing as having been there.

I was able to raise my 2 kiddos during the decade of the 90's. I would have had an even harder, nearly impossible, time of it during the horrible past 8 years. The dissonance between the 2 decades is unmistakable, and the Clinton campaign should highlight that difference.

Daily KOS

Very Funny!

Cheers and Jeers: Wednesday

by Bill in Portland Maine

Wed Feb 13, 2008 at 06:10:48 AM PST

From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE...

The BiPM answering machine. Last Sunday morning:

[Beep!] Hello, this is Barack Obama reminding you to come out and caucus for me on Sunday. Together we can bring hope and change to America. Thank you.

[Beep!] Hello, this is Hillary Clinton. If you agree that we need a new direction in America, please caucus for me on Sunday. I have the experience needed to hit the ground running on day one. Thank you.

[Beep!] Hi, Barack again. Did Hillary just call you? Look, she and I were friends before the primary season and we'll be friends after. But right now she's just acting crazy, understand? Vote for me and I may let you stand next to me at my inauguration.

[Beep!] Hillary here. Barack's feeding you a line 'o crap and he knows it. Not only will I let you stand next to me at my inauguration, but I'll give you the cabinet position of your choice. You have to admit, that's pretty sweet. Love ya!

[Beep!] Hey, it's Barack. Love ya more. Wanna be my VP?

[Beep!] Oh, he's not gonna make you vice president and he knows it!

[Beep!] Will too!

[Beep!] Will not!

[Beep!] This is Chelsea Clinton. Have you seen my mom or my dad? I'm supposed to be at a rally with 'em but there's no one here. Today's Nebraska, right?

[Beep!] Hi, this is Oprah. Despite what the Clinton campaign says, I am not going to crush your skull between my thighs if you don’t vote for my man Barack. That would let you off too easy! Hint hint.

[Beep!] Hi, Barack again. That wasn't Oprah. That was Hillary pretending to be Oprah. You see how these people work? I think it's... Oh, wait, it was Oprah. Never mind. Vote for me!

[Beep!] Hi, this is Chuck Norris. I'm hiding behind your bathroom door, and as soon as you come in to pee I'm gonna break every bone in your Defeatocrat body. I'll start with your femurs.

[Beep!] Hi, this is Mike Gravel. Chuck's hanging by his underwear from a hook on the back of your bathroom door. The police are on their way. Wish I could stay but I've gotta stop a meteor that's hurtling toward Earth. Have a nice pee.

[sigh]

Cheers and Jeers starts in There's Moreville... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]

http://www.dailykos.com/